Good coaching is like good selling. It starts with knowing the right questions to ask and listening. If you want to get someone to improve their performance, avoid telling them what they should do differently. Instead, you need to master the art of giving appropriate and constructive feedback. Here are five rules that will keep you on the right path.

1. Always get the other person to self-assess first. In other words, before you gush your words of wisdom on a given situation, find out what the other person is thinking. How do you think that went? or some appropriate variation is good. As the coach, youll gain valuable insight into the other persons judgment and knowledge. It also allows you to find common ground to expand upon. Of even more value, however, is that it forces some personal introspection and analysis by the other party.

2. Give balanced feedback, starting with the positive. To be effective, feedback must be balanced. If you lead with or focus only on the negative, the likely reaction will be defensiveness. If the other person is defensive, he will shut down, tune out or rationalize your feedback as not relevant. On the other hand, when you start with positive feedback, you get a more open response to the negative feedback later on. The other person now doesnt assume that youre out to get them. Instead, he views you as being balanced and fair in your assessment.

3. Step up to the challenge with courage. Handling the tough issues can be uncomfortable and difficult for both parties. Simply ask yourself, Does this person deserve my help? If you care about them, and you should, then you need to be honest with them. Even when its painful. Remember, someone wont fix something if they dont know its not working.

Some managers or coaches lament that their jobs would be easy if they didnt have to deal with other peoples issues. The reality is that is what makes someone a good coach or manager. In other words, thats why youre paid the big bucks. Anyone can avoid dealing with the hard issues. Unfortunately, taking the head in the sand approach will not make the issues go away.

4. Be specific with your feedback. Documentation with concrete examples is beneficial here. In other words, dont tell someone that they have a bad attitude and stop there. If you do, youre likely to get into a pissing match over whos right and whos wrong. No one wins in that kind of scenario. Instead, focus on the specific behaviors, actions, words or body language which supports your point. In addition, be very detailed by describing when, where and how these behaviors have manifested themselves.

5. Protect the confidentiality of others. Feedback is a very personal exchange and it should be kept that way. When you are giving feedback, make sure youre in a private setting free of distractions. In addition, make sure that as the coach, you let the other person know that what is said behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. And then you must honor that.

The human ego is a delicate thing, especially when taking constructive feedback. By keeping these five rules in mind, youll find you will be a great resource and trusted advisor to those that you manage or coach.

Will Turner

Will Turner is the Founder and President of Dancing Elephants Achievement Group. Will has trained thousands of salespeople and business owners and authored over 100 articles on sales-related topics. He is also the creator of dozens of sale seminar programs, as well as the Sales Magnetism program which helps salespeople move beyond consultative selling to the next level of client relationships.

He is the co-author of Six Secrets of Sales Magnets. This book dispels some of the myths and common bad sales practices which keep salespeople stuck in Vendorville. It also highlights what is necessary to be in the top 5% of all salespeople. He shares how you can ATTRACT the right business and not act like a typical salesperson.

Will has over 20 years experience in sales and marketing. He has been in the trenches as a salesperson, as well as managed a national sales team and been responsible for developing and executing marketing and sales strategies.

The focus of his company, Dancing Elephants, is to get salespeople results. To that measure, his methods and approach have met with great success. In fact, his clients increase sales 56% on average in the first year or working with him.