Unless you've been fortunate (?) enough to have been raised in a 1950's sort of family, you may be completely unaware of some of the things I'm about to address.

Certainly, today's ads on television would leave you, not only clueless, but mis-clued.

Whether or not we're Professional speakers--meaning that we get paid for our talking--we're often called upon to say a few words before or after a dinner. Perhaps you're making a toast, or introducing the main speaker. You may be urging people to consider funding a project or donating money or services to an important cause.

You may be seated in the place of honor at the head table. You're special. People look at you. If you're especially well-known or admired, people watch you. They may want to emulate your speech, your actions, your style, your manners.

Now, back to the television ads: What do you see when someone is eating food that's being advertised?

Scene One: You see a woman sit at a table, smile, plunk her elbow on said table and pick up a spoon. She then uses her elbow as a fulcrum, turtling her head foward to eat the supposedly yummy food in the spoon. Her elbow stays firmly anchored throughout the ad. And, of course, she smiles, as though she'sdone something quite remarkable.

Scene Two: A man enters a restaurant with his buddies. Smiles at the waitress. Orders. Plants his left forearm on the table. Leans forward. Food is served--about 12" from the edge of the table so a to not disturb his arm.

Now we have a choice here: Either he can lay his right arm mostly on the table, lean forward with his head 4" from the food to slurp it up. Or. Like the aforementioned woman, he can settle his right elbow on the table, spear his food with his fork and pivot it into his mouth. Classy.

I'm telling you, people, that you will have already lost the respect of some of your audience if this is your dining style!

6 RULES OF THE TABLE:
1. No part of your anatomy is in contact with the table. The table is for food only.

2. Your left hand remains in your lap, unless you're cutting your meat or eating a bite (a small bite) of your bread.

3. You sit up straight and carry bites of food to your mouth, not your mouth to your plate.

4. You cut one small bite of food at a time. You eat that. You cut another bite and eat that.

5. You never take a drink of anything while you still have food in your mouth. Swallow it. Then drink.

6. Don't talk with your mouth full. Eat slowly and enjoy the food and the company.

I have a client--well, many clients--who complain that this is "too hard". Poor babies. Exert yourself, if you need to, to consider other people's sensibilites. It'll definitely win you friends and influence people.

Good manners of all kinds go with success. Have a ball! Be a success!

Carole McMichaels

If this is to be a true Bio, it must be in first person singular, so here I am, giving you all my "Singular I's". My life has been long, unconventional, exciting and filled with music, my first love and my first career.

Were it not for an absence of current rules and regulations, I would not be here at all. You see, my father was my mother's cello teacher--a horrible no-no in today's school world. They were married in the Interlachen Music Camp where my father taught trumpet and conducting.

As a child I gave many recitals, usually the first half on piano, the last half on violin. I loved it, but would have preferred (though I didn't know it at the time) music written by live people rather than by dead white men. Still my preference.

A favorite past-time of my four-year's-younger brother and me was to sing rounds a half-step apart. Great ear training for the contemporary music in which I later specialized! Playing hours of orchestral and chamber music--and kick-the-can, swimming, reading and traveling rounded out my childhood activities. A happy childhood!

As an adult I migrated to New York City where my professional life took different turns. I stopped the violin in favor of accompanying instrumental and vocal recitals. Then, because of injuries, I did a stint as a Broadway dancer--and finally ended up as a classical singer. Working with Leonard Bernstein for his time as conductor of the New York Philharmonic was an exhilarating experience.

At the time, 12-tone music was the be-all and end-all of the New York music scene; singers who could sing these beasts were few and far between. However, because I had perfect pitch and a strong instrumental background, I had a fertile field for my interests and abilities.

For variety I sang on cruise ships, did musical comedy, an occasional substitute job as organist in some of the large churches (a total thrill!) Did a bit of folk dancing on Puerto Rican TV, some pretty humorous modeling jobs, and set up the first audio language program in Tehran, Iran.

I have a lovely daughter, compassionate and creative.

For the last thirty years I've been a hypnotherapist, working with individuals and presenting workshops on a variety of topics. My passion is teaching!

Now I specialize in helping performers and public speakers prepare their presentations; using Energy Psychology, we permanently jettison their stage fright. Very interesting and gratifying work!

And I write.