Wherever you go, there you are. This is the title of a fantastic book by Jon Kabat Zinn. Often when going through a difficult time, some think about making a major change, a change of a job or residence. Will this really help? Of course if you are being abused or harassed, such action may be in order. But for the most part, if we change nothing about ourselves, we merely take what is inside of us wherever we wander.

In therpy, I have seen individuals who have literally taken geographics, making a major change out of the their city or state. What most discovered was that initially, the change was fun and exciting. But after a period of time, after the "newness" wore off they still saw people as they had seen them before. If they felt taken advantage of, they still felt that way. If they had low self-esteem, they felt the same way.

Is there an answer to this problem? Work on yourself first. In 12-step programs, we say no major changes for a year. That is because people need to see who they really are without their addiction. And it takes about a year to detox your system and to find out who you really are emotionally. And any other problems can certainly cloud our emotions as well.

Taking some time to clearly focus and see what the real issues are, is very important. A quick change without any forethought is often merely an escape from reality.

And remember, happiness is an inside job.!