Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a couple has for a happy life together. The relationship will be pleasant and rewarding as long as you believe in what inspires those hopes and dreams. To keep a marriage romantic, nuture what makes your relationship worthwhile and wonderful. Marriage has pleasures and rewards: companionship, the approval or praise that your partner gives you, the inspiration to be better, and physical gratification. There are pleasures and there are problems. A few basic strategies can increase the pleasures and lessen the problems. Don't expect a perfect relationship. Give each other some wiggle room - have some tolerance for the faults and limitations that you both have. Don't stir up the bottom muck - being too concerned with problems makes you pay less attention to what is good in the relationship. Encouraging what is good about the relationship will, in general, do more good than problem solving. If you expect too much, it is more difficult to feel good about the relationship. You will compare how the relationship is to what you think it should be and you will be disappointed. Love and happiness do not require perfection. Love happens when you believe that both of you can continue to build a rewarding relationship. Your attitude should signal the other person that you will patiently work through each other's shortcomings. Being tolerant and non-condemning is a challenge. But consciously making an effort to be tolerant goes a long way. Build Upon What Is Good -- Find activities that you both like and do them together. Do something such as gardening, cooking, or charity volunteering. Maybe start a project together such as landscaping or interior decorating. Try a recreation activity such as hiking. You might want to spend more time just talking. You could take more time for visiting friends and having family get-togethers. Find areas of commom interest. Pursue those interests together. Be involved in each other's lives. Share ideas to find ways to more enjoy living. Tell your sweetheart about strategies you use for such things as achieving goals and enjoying yourself. Tell each other about what you think is interesting, what is worthwhile, and what is encouraging. If you share positive ideas, you will think of each other as pleasant and enjoyable. Encourage your partner to act and make decisions. Both of you will be able to accomplish more with the other's support and encouragement. When there is a disagreement, be patient. If you need to criticize, offer an attractive alternative rather than a condemnation. Your encouragement likely will produce more good results than will your objections. The good things in life are much more important than the disappointments. Reward yourself and your partner for the good in what you are doing. Treat yourself well. Remind yourself often of what you and your partner are doing right. |
