In Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), there is a presupposition that states:

"There is a positive intention behind every behavior even if it is not easily recognized or understood."

As a Coach and Master Practitioner of NLP, I've been trained to understand that we often do things that seem to be in conflict with our stated goals. This is simply human nature and an effect of our survival mechanism. When we sabotage our best efforts, it is because there are child like parts of us that feel vulnerable, fear success and this triggers a response in them to activate the old program of seeking food for comfort.

The reasons behind your being overweight have nothing to do with lack of self control or laziness. It just means that you have attached a greater meaning to food than perhaps it deserves. Somewhere along the way, food became connected up with issues around control.

Your extra weight is simply evidence of the fact that there is a conflict going on inside of you. That fat around your top, middle or your bottom section is just a result of some part of you that has been unwilling to give up control for fear of survival. There's a part of you that knows, deep down that if you became thin right now that your safety would be jeopardized in some way.

That's why your brilliant subconscious mind is going to continue to protect you by sending your brain messages to continue to maintain the status quo and prevent you from doing whatever needs to be done to lose weight. It is there to protect you and look after you by automatically bringing to you whatever your subconscious programming dictates will make you feel safe. That is the real reason behind your cravings, binging and lack of motivation to get out and be more active. It's not you. It's just a habit that your body developed to serve a need and it has been fulfilling the need in the same way since you began to look at food as a therapist, friend, lover or any other role you chose.

Unfortunately the pattern that has been set in motion will continue until you erase that programming and install a new program. The first step to change is to become aware of the unmet need. That will begin to break the cycle because it will no longer be a habit it will become a choice. That gives you control since your awareness has become conscious.

The challenge that I offer you is to be able to figure out what you are getting out of choosing to remain overweight. Consider the following list and ask yourself... What's the upside of being fat? Are any of the following statements true for you?

1. I get to eat more - I love eating

2. I get to stay out of the public eye since I want to hide away and keep my light hidden, not expressing myself

3. I don't choose to have sex with my partner during this time.

4. I have a great game that I play to put my partner though their paces to demonstrate the degree of their loyalty, love, desire, need for me. By keeping them wanting me and refusing their advances, I can still feel desirable and in control and most of all safe from their rejection.

5. I get the validation of understanding that I can be loved for myself despite how I look and feel about my body.

6. I get to spend more time zoning out, watching TV, in solitude, relaxing, reading, feeling sorry for myself and remaining in a safe coccoon.

7. I get lots of sympathy from people when I share my story of my ongoing battle with my weight.

8. I get to sing my sad song... Why poor me?

If any of these benefits are resonating with you, that means that you are recognizing that you are not being the amazing person that you know that you truly are! For some reason, you are hiding your light and remaining hidden.

Get inspired to fill that hunger inside of you by using self administered tools to give you an edge, balance your energy and just plain make you feel so darn good that it's almost illegal. You are not alone anymore!