It's an all too familiar story: A child is abused, finally finds the courage to tell someone, and nothing is done. The child is then forced to live with not only any abuse still continuing, but with the past abuse and all the issues abuse brings. The child is also forced to suffer silently and is made to feel as though it is his or her fault because their abuser was never held accountable. I am one of those adult children. When I was 10, I was adopted by a single lesbian woman in New York. Before I was adopted, she molested me. I never was asked if I wanted to be adopted by her. My caseworker at the time only wanted to hear the good things. I'd already been through three other foster homes and I was too much to handle, so it was natural that everyone wanted me adopted. Finally, a few years later, I found the courage to report the abuse to my high school guidance counselor, Dr. Jason Schwartz, Nyack High School in Nyack, N.Y. He believed me. Unfortunately, CPS did not. I kept my mouth shut for years after that. There is another story in between that which forced my silence as my abuser made sure I was ridiculed enough to that point. I tried for several years after turning 18 to get her to take responsibility and tell the truth. She went from all out denying everything to eventually coming as close as she would to telling the truth by letting me know that it could have happened; she just didn't remember it. By then, it was too late to bring her to court. In the meantime, she ensured my silence by demeaning me when I attempted to get help for myself. Now, at 37, I've developed bipolar disorder. My doctors believe the bipolar manifested as a direct result of the abuse. I am a single parent, medically disabled, worse than broke and angry that I cannot take this woman to court because there are statutes of limitation on reporting abuse. There are none for murder. That makes sense, since a victim of murder will always be a victim; they can no longer speak. But for victims of abuse who are trying to survive, there's no help. We are stuck with monstrous medical bills, counselor bills, medications, nightmares, issues- the list goes on. We don't want huge sums of money, because money won't take away the horror. However, the money would pay for our medical bills, and help in the interim as we await disability. We never asked for what they did to us, yet we are forced to pay as a common criminal. We are in our own private prison for something we did not do. The laws must be changed! Thanks- Jacqui Odell |
