In any relationship more than a month old, you will have something for which to apologize.

It's just the nature of living with other people: it's messy.

So needing to apologize is a good and natural thing. The problem comes due to the many myths about apologizing.

3 myths and what to do instead

Myth #1 - Apologizing means that you are somehow weak. Some folks would sooner lose a body part than apologize. I guess they think this makes them tough.

Reality: Only the truly strong can admit when they are wrong and apologize.

Myth #2 - Apologizing means you have lost. You know those folks that have to win at all costs, no matter what. Fun folks, right?

Reality: A relationships is not a competition. When we turn it into one, we may win a battle, but we win at the expense of the relationship.

Myth #3 - Aplogizing means you have given in. We say stuff like "I will if you will" and other intellegent things.

Reality: A genuine apology communicates that you care enough about the other person to admit when you are wrong and try not to do it again. Apologizing is not giving in, it's giving your heart.

I'm not saying you have to go around with "I'm sorry" written on your t-shirt. I am saying that apologizing from the heart can be magic words in a relationship.

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com